Hello, Mr. McCormick. You don’t know me, but I have a proposition for you. As you probably know by now, your agents recently made some politically-charged comments about gay marriage from the Twitter account that previously had only been used to tweet positive developments in the careers of their clients. Now, whether or not you agree with what they said, you can see how it would be bad for business to have your agents suddenly start tweeting about such a divisive topic.
I would like to offer my services as your new player agent. I don’t have any experience, but if your preference is to stay here in Buffalo, I think even a Rhesus monkey with an accordion could negotiate a raise with Darcy for you, especially if Lindy is standing next to him bellowing about your ‘grit’. There are other advantages to my representation as well:
- As stated, I guarantee I will not tweet about politics
- Standing next to me will make you appear cooler by comparison
- I have cute children – great photo opportunities
- I’d have no problem tweeting about every single positive contribution you make on the ice
- Anyone that fights you loses
- Fairly certain I and my followers can come up with better nicknames than Allan Walsh (Halak it like that? Pavelectric? puh-leeze)
In closing, I think this could be a mutually beneficial relationship. Let me know!